His Morning Pirouettes

When I get dressed, I only use the middle finger of my right hand. With this finger, I throw my clothes straight up in the air, one at a time and in the usual order. Twenty feet up at least. It won’t work in low-ceilinged flats. Coming down, they fill with air and often begin to spin. Before they reach the ground, I slip into them with a swift, artistic movement. It won’t work with trousers? You think I’m pulling your leg? Shorts and trousers I handle with a handstand. What else do you want to know? My friends say I could wow a circus crowd with this trick. Vaudeville at best, I think. Circuses won’t tolerate the nudity.

Rupprecht Mayer was born near Berchtesgaden. After some 20 years living and working in Taiwan, Beijing, and Shanghai, he resettled in SE Bavaria. He translates Chinese literature and writes short prose. English versions appeared in AGNI Online, Flash (UK), Hobart, Mad Hatters’ Review, Nano Fiction, New World Writing, Ninth Letter, Postcard Shorts and elsewhere. chinablaetter.info/rupprechtmayer/

See more of his work in 3.4 here.