Was When
I was there in the then in the suddenly of it all which was gone as then always is once it was and then wasn’t and I longed so, for the then that I missed the now that suddenly left and went to then and so I turned back to the now, which urged me to just be, to just relax but the when had a hold on me that wasn’t letting go in spite of it not yet being at all present, just a tugging at what might be of the when, still being urged by the then and I had to look around but only long enough to realize once again that the when was gone again and I so wanted it to back.
Head in my hands, my hair, the moment in despair, weary, the fight ebbing out of me, the darkness taking over, the beat in the walls, the beat of my heart that does not sing the same tune, the one that carried me two feet (my two feet) off the ground in a life – a life that was just a moment, but a moment so long, so short, so happy, so not, it just was, it just is and the is, is a moment that was and the is is a memory of that moment played back in no particular order, over and over, but not maybe ever again, for the was has no moment but that saved for the moment to be over and then it was a was that no longer needed to make itself into anything.
Art
Carole Jeung is a painter, printmaker, educator and graphic designer in San Francisco. She often creates series of small drawings, exploring repetition and place. www.carolejeung.com
You can see more of Carole's work in 5.4 and and 5.3
Writing
R.L. Shattuck, more commonly known as Bob, is a graduate of the creative writing program at San Francisco State University, and aside from a few long-gone online publications, his work has mostly appeared or been lost in various binders, desk drawers and obsolete memory devices.